Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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