I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
