if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
