I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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