Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
