And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
where am i from again
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
