"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
