It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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