some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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