You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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