I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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