Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
