Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
