i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
