so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
this hospital has no fireball
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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