We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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