Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
