Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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