You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
the raccoons are back...
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