I got chris browned last night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
