im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All the doctor said was why
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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