Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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