My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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