i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
