This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
