fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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