help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I know her cup size but not her name....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
