I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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