why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
