there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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