I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
