whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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