do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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