It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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