Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
