Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
