i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
