can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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