Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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