It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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