Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
