didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You were trust falling into bushes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
