i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
