im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
