i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
