her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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