Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
