Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Four minutes until I can fart!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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