Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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