The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
