I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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