But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
