ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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