She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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