Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
