Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How does it feel to date your dad?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
