I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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