found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
