Don't make out with my wife yet
In America we eat man semen.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Randomize
