He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
